Why “Performance” Is Cheap—And What Truly Moves an Audience.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Over my 31 years as a casting director in film and television, I directed close to half a million auditions. That number isn’t an exaggeration—it’s the reality of sitting in rooms where actors walk in, high-stakes emotions in tow, and hope to land a job. One after the other!

But what I witnessed over decades wasn’t just talent, nerves, or ambition. It was something deeper: a revealing case study in what connects—and what doesn’t.
So I reverse-engineered it to discover how to teach it.

And the biggest takeaway?

Performance is cheap. Presence is priceless.

Let me explain:

Performance Is All About the Performer

When actors came in trying to "perform the character", what they were really doing was trying to look convincing—to sell me on their abilities while reciting the scripted part and trying to be believable as an imitation of life.

They were acting at me. Trying to get a result by doing the part..

And sometimes, that resulted in something technically solid. But it was usually empty of genuine emotion.

They weren’t focused the character’s truth or the story being served. They were thinking about getting the job. So that’s what ultimately came out.

Presence Is About Surrender

The rarest, most compelling auditions came from those who let go of the need to impress and immersed themselves fully in the imagined reality of the character as their primary concern and left the intent to get a job, outside the door.

Because they weren’t trying to get the job.
They were trying to tell the truth.

These actors weren’t “doing” anything to the character. They were being in service to the character, the text, and ultimately, the audience in fully trying to relinquish control over to their imagination giving it the space to come up with something real. Because neurologically, the body doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and imagined, everything emanating from them will be real!.

They let the moment shape them, rather than trying to shape the moment.

And here’s the paradox:

The less they focused on looking good, the better they came across.

This Applies Far Beyond Acting

I see the exact same dynamic in public speaking—which is now my most common coaching focus.

Most speakers (understandably) aim to look polished, smart, and skilled. They watch TED talks, rehearse to perfection, and try to “perform” their speech with confidence.

But the most memorable speakers?
They’re not performing.
They’re experiencing their message as they speak.

They’re rooted in their words. Present. Imagining what they’re saying as they say it. And because of that focus, we go on the journey with them.

Presence Creates Connection—Literally

A study from University College London monitored audience members’ heartbeats during a live theatre performance.

During the most emotionally resonant moments on nights when both audience and performers felt it was “a great audience,” audience members’ heartbeats literally synchronized. Scientists call this “entrainment.”

When we are fully present—whether on stage or in a boardroom—our audience feels it. It creates resonance that bypasses logic and speaks directly to the nervous system of the audience….And Vice Versa!! This is proven in the study of psychoneuroimmunology which is a fancy word for the study of emotions on the body.

And that connection? That’s where trust lives. That’s where transformation happens.

Real-World Proof: From Casting Rooms to Conference Rooms

I recently completed a three-month coaching engagement with a group of architects at Olson Kundig’s Seattle, Chicago and New York offices..

None of them were “performing” their pitches.
They were showing up authentically—with the same ease and coherence they bring to casual conversations with colleagues.

And as a result?
Their presentations didn’t just sound better. They felt better. They landed. And this approach also solves all the usual problems speakers encounter without having to assign solutions. It allows the speaker to show up as they are without artifice.

Because when your communication style is rooted in truth, not tactics, your audience can relax. And trust you.

Final Thought: Let Go to Level Up

Here’s the irony:

The more you try to look good, the more disconnected you become. Because just like the majority of those actors I saw, their focus is on themselves. First question I ask a client when they crash and burn in a training: “On whom did your focus just go?” Answer (without exception): “Myself!”

But the moment you surrender your need to be impressive and focus instead on serving the moment, the message, and the audience, everything changes.

Presence is not about performance.
It’s about service.
And service is where real power lives.

Interested in learning how to show up with true presence in your speaking, pitching, or presenting?
Let’s talk.